How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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How did th-A fridge.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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