What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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