Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? this overused joke

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a black man and a Chevrolet? They didn't sell Chevrolets in the 1800s.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -14

asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops