Roses are red, Violets are violet,

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

Knock-Knock Come in! ...

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

A man walks into the kitchen tells the woman to make him a sandwich and walks out.

What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

What do you get when you put a goat and an owl together? A goat and an owl

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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