Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because the white man murdered him.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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