What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I can't see ~ Ray Charles

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Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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whos district champs not JM

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops