Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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69

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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Barack Obama.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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