What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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