what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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96

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

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why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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