A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

the canadian, the chinese man, and the black guy walk into the at different times and buy different things

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

thumb_up thumb_down -21

"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops