What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Your Mother

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Ham sandwich

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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try to find the 1 thumbs up if you find it! 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thumb_up thumb_down -27

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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