How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops