What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Neither have I

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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A:knock, knock B:who's there A:come in B:come in who A:me I'm gay

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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