"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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