a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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Irish sobriety

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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You having friends.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

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What did the cancer patient get for his birthday HIV

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Yo momma is So Fat? And isn't your cousin Chow Yun Fat? I think I know some of the Fat family. How are they all doing?

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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