What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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Women's rights.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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The game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops