have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

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zx

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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