What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

Faithful men.

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

Your wife died during the delivery.

how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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