(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

Stop me if you heard this one before.

Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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