What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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