What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops