Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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What happens when 2 gay men rub their penises together Jello

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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