Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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A Jew and a Nazi walk into a bar... 1 year later they are married with a baby on the way

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops