"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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Albert your flies undone.

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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Whats a buch of blacks running down a hill called? The Detroit, MI marathon in seeing that 84.3% of Detroit's population is of Arican descent.

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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Major League Soccer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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