A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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The U.S. economy is in poor condition and it's downfall would have repercussions throughout the entire world.

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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A man walks into a bar, then he leaves and goes home

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

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What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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