Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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how do u kill a black kid ..... stabb him in the face with a nife

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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