A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

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there was a black man his head looked like a peanut

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

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poop.

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

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2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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