- Anti Joke

Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

Q what's worse than Tori's singing A absolutely nothing !

can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

216-409-7176 Call me.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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