How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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anti jokes are gay...your all gay

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

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Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

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WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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