A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

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What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Once there was a frog. My parents died.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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