My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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