A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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MAKE

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

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What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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What's funnier A Ginger or a fat kid A fat ass ginger

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What are Antijokes? type of comedy typical joke setup anticlimax that it lack of punchline.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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