In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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What is more worse than death? Death

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What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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how may i help you

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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