How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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What do you call a black person who just received a bachlors degree from Havard? A very educated human being.

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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There were two men 1 says "hey stupid" and the other man says "Yeah"

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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