A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

That's what SHE said!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

ur mum

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than a kane nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops