Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

- How breakdance was invented? - A certain black man was trying to stole rims from moving car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Because he was bringing food to support his wife and 3 kids whom were very hungry and needed it to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You have Aids. April fools! you have super Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops