What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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knock knock get lost!

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How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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?J?o?k?e?

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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