A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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