Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Oh, right

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

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josh roberts goes to church to take advantage of religiously confused young boys

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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Womens' sports

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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