A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and an Indian man are all in the taxi when they were all killed in a car crash. Who was driving the car? The taxi driver.

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WEED!

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

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hextech crafting too opieop

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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david your girlfriend has a nice ass

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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<!-- alert('I lost the game'); -->

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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penis

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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