Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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Once upon a cross

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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Do you like fishsticks No

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Cleveland winning something

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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Take off your shoes.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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homework

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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