What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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what?

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops