So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

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What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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I had sex with my mother in law

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Strawberries!

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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