What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

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What did Spiderman do when he saw a crime taking place? He stopped it

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why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Seeing your mom dance

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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What is it worse than a bee sting ? -Two bee stings What 's worse than two bee stings ? -The holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust ? -3 bee stings

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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Why did the book disappear?

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nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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Whats the different betweene a drugdealer and a cop? I dont know but i think they dont have the same wife.

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You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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