What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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What's worse than eating cows. Death

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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alston wang

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

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knock knock who's there no one

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops