Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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chuck norris

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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