What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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irish wristwatch JLR

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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why cant helen keller drive? because cars werent popularly accepted when she lived.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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