What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

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Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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What is harder than Jenga? Being a quadraplegic.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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