Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Knock Knock Whos there Who Yan Who Yan Who Chow Yan Chow

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Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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Jersey Shore

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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