Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops