Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

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I pooped my pants

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

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A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

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How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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Guess what! what haha u listened to me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops