What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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Whats worse than a Jew Ben rike

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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