What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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Hearpin my durp

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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Nothing yet CC

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What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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Bloody kids ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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